Charlotte Country Day School’s seven counselors and three educational resource program directors teamed up to share some tips for back-to-school success as students make the annual transition back to the classrooms.
Get in school mode
Children have gotten used to later bedtimes and sleeping in. The adjustment to a school schedule can be difficult. To adjust to the change, gradually set your kids’ sleep schedules back to “School Time” a few weeks before the first day. Getting enough sleep reaps big benefits for your child during the school year.
Back to school is the perfect opportunity to re-establish screen time limits. Unplugging in the evening before bedtime and participating in calming activities, such as reading a book, listening to music, and spending time together as a family, can help a child sleep better.
Create or re-establish routines
By partnering with your student, you can offer them a sense of agency and order moving from a (typically) more flexible summer season. Encourage them to practice their routines so the alarm on the first day of school isn’t quite so jarring. This may include laying out clothes the night before, charging iPads and Surfaces nightly, and designating a space for backpacks. Practicing before the first day allows times for revisions if needed.
Talk openly with your child about their afterschool routine. What will happen once they get home from school? How will they manage afterschool activities and homework, especially on nights when they may get home later than usual? What support does your child need from you to successfully manage their afternoons? Talking through routines before the school year starts helps prioritize time management and gives children an opportunity to plan ahead while not under pressure.
Designating a specific study area at home can work wonders for your child’s focus and productivity. Set up a quiet space with a comfortable desk or table, good lighting, and essential supplies. Have your child personalize the area with artwork or some of their favorite quotes to make it inviting and inspiring. Having a dedicated space will foster a sense of responsibility and encourage a positive attitude towards studying. For the young elementary age child, set up a cozy reading nook that is comfortable for you to read with your child. Include a small bookcase or containers to store their favorite books.
Make routines visual. For younger children, post the routines pictorially where they can see it. For older children, post the daily and weekly schedule on a wipe-off-board or planner in their room for easy reference.
Prioritize supportive connections
Encourage your child to reconnect with school friends. Arrange playdates with children in their new class. This will help ease any social anxieties and reestablish friendships, making the return to school more enjoyable.
Brainstorm with your student to create plans for anything they might need at school. Who are their safe adults on campus? Where are their safe spaces? This is especially important if your student is new or has specific worries or fears. Anxiety lives in the uncontrollable; by finding ways to identify the aspects they do have control over, students may find their feelings more manageable.
Manage back-to-school feelings and foster a positive mindset
Thinking about the end of summer and returning to school often creates a variety of different feelings for students (and for adults!). Encourage your students to share their feelings with you and hold space for all of them (there are no “bad” feelings). Try to model emotional expression by sharing your own reflections or feelings about the start of the year. Are there things you’re worried or unsure about? By acknowledging uncertainty, we normalize it. If your child expresses worries about the transition back, listen, empathize, and validate their feelings, then reassure them that back to school, while it may be hard, can also be fun.
Emphasize the excitement and positive aspects of returning to school. Discuss new things your child will learn, the friends they’ll meet, and the fun experiences they will have. Reading books about starting school with stories and characters your child can relate to is useful for relieving first-day jitters and providing a boost of confidence where needed. Sharing with them stories of your own first-day jitters when you were a child is also helpful. Teach them to breathe deeply and slowly to help them be calm. Discuss scenarios that worry them. For example, if they’re worried about who to sit with or talk to on the first day, help them plan a strategy and rehearse it so they’ll know what to do. Celebrate the upcoming school year and highlight the opportunities for growth and new experiences that await.
Check out this resource with help in having positive discussions after the school day: 25 Questions to ask your child that go beyond, “How was your day?”
Set goals and intentions and encourage independence.
When setting goals, focus on process over product. It is easy for children (and adults) to default to outcome-based goals, like “getting all A’s”. Instead, help your student set process-oriented goals that focus on positive school behaviors and include objective measures for growth and check-in points. For example, “I want to get better at turning my homework in on time, so my goal is to complete and turn in my homework every day for two weeks.” Keep it simple – setting process goals like these helps children better understand the steps that go into academic success and gives them greater control over their own outcomes.
In addition, you and your child can choose a “focus word” every month that represents their intention. Some beginning of the year words might include friendship, perseverance, kindness, bravery, etc. Parents can then use this word to start conversations at home about their child’s classroom experience and progress. This allows parents an entry point into conversations with their child. Ask questions like, “What’s one way you lived your word today, bravery?” or “How did you show perseverance in your classroom today?” or “Give me an example of how you experienced kindness at school today?”
Remember, children who play an active role in preparing for back-to-school, such as choosing and organizing their supplies and new clothes, are more likely to get excited about going back to school. Plan ahead by having your child pack their backpack and lay out their clothes the night before. This helps everyone have a smoother morning. Involve your child in choosing and preparing healthy lunches and snacks, and help them find physical activities they enjoy as ways to promote healthy habits.
Upper School Counselors
Samantha Bosco and Mallika Rajan
Middle School Counselors
Janani Buford and Jo Malveaux
Lower School Counselors
J.G. Bailey and Aleya Willis
Educational Resource Directors
Sherry Harris, Lower School
Laura Hayes, Middle School
Lauren Folger-Sweeting, Upper School